IMG_3384 IMG_3347

MARCH 28th, 2015

I’ve used my musculature in irregular ways since I started painting.  In the last 9 months I’ve painted, I’ve never used my muscles in this fashion.  It’s bound to take a toll in a good way and other ways.  I realized right now that this is why I’m exhausted everyday.

I finished painting two this a.m. Actually I did three printings but on two canvases.  I painted another painting over one as I didn’t care for it.  Whatsoever.  I tried to fix the first one.  I know when I try to fix a painting, it’s the beginning of a lost battle as I’m in thinking mode instead of reacting mode.  I don’t know if I care for this one, but, I find it better than the first.  Usually, when I find myself in think mode, I end up with another flower garden, which is fine, it comes from a natural flow. I don’t think about a garden, it just becomes a garden. 

I feel safe when I’m in garden mode.  It’s not that I don’t feel safe in other modes.  It’s the unknown that’s freeing, and yet, it’s the unknown that keeps me in each moment of creativity.  I guess creativity comes from the unknown; from within knowing, not the outside of knowing or the mental side of knowing. Just knowing. It’s a feeling.   

This being said, when someone says I know such and such a person, they can’t “know” that person.  Most people live outside of their knowing.  Knowing, defined as the knowing-space a baby comes from when in the womb.  That ‘knowing’ as this developing baby hasn’t any thoughts yet.  The baby is only capable in knowing. Like a caterpillar is in the knowing which seamlessly transitions the worm into a butterfly.  A butterfly is what everyone looks for in themselves, which means, people have acquired so much information from experience in their past and this information is what covers the knowing.  Knowing, I guess is the same thing as instinct.  If we didn’t come from “knowing” the hairs on the back of our neck wouldn’t be capable of standing up straight and bringing on the ‘shivers’.

Codependency on drugs, religion and so many other distractions are what people gravitate toward as it’s mistaken for a GPS system to get us to unleash our knowing.  Meditation and the like are used to clear the mind.  In clearing our minds: When cleared, knowing is all that we have.  With so many distractions; with much unneeded information–present, or from the past, knowing hasn’t a chance to peek through except when, and one has developed the skill to recognize personal instincts/knowing.

©JasperKIRK